Questions that keep English geeks up at night...

English has acquired the largest vocabulary of all the world's languages, perhaps as many as two million words, and has generated one of the noblest bodies of literature in the annals of the human race. Nonetheless, it is now time to face the fact that English is a crazy language -- the most loopy and wiggy of all tongues.

• Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
• Why do we pack suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
• Why do we call it newsprint when it contains no printing but when we put print on it, we call it a newspaper?
• Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?

• In what other language do they call the third hand on the clock the second hand?
• Why is phonetic not spelled phonetically?
• Why is it so hard to remember how to spell mnemonic?
• Why is there no synonym for synonym or thesaurus?
• And why, pray tell, does lisp have an s in it?

A slim chance and a fat chance are the same, as are a caregiver and a caretaker, a bad licking and a good licking, and "What's going on?" and "What's coming off?" But a wise man and a wise guy are opposites. How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next?

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