It's "interesting" to be a midwesterner ...

An entry from our local Community Education bulletin, filed under General Interest:

Deer Processing
This class will teach you the basic skills to cut your own deer. We will show you the proper care of the deer from field dressing to skinning and cleaning of the carcass. We will show you how to cut your deer from pulling the back straps for chops, tip for roast or steaks, and trim for ground venison or sausage. We will also seam the rounds to show you how to cut it for jerky, steak, or roasts. This class will use a road kill deer for hands-on experience. You will receive a basic step-by-step book for quick reference. $39

Can Music Save Your Mortal Soul?

Interesting article from Memoria Press

There are two mistakes that can be made about music: the Rationalist Mistake and the Romantic Mistake. One we can associate with Milton, the other with Nietszche. The Rationalist Mistake is to think that the form of the music doesn't matter, only the lyrics. The Romantic Mistake is to think that only the music matters, not the lyrics.

In the popular music of my generation, the primary themes were sexual. It followed the music of the 1960s which at least had some idealism, however misguided. It was the era of disco. People were too busy shaking their booty or getting down to worry too much about the social concerns of their forbears in the previous decade. Their concerns were also in stark contrast to the dark nihilism of the generation that came after—and that still seems to be with us.

But, whether the music contains sexual themes or themes of suicide and depression, the response of children when their parents ask them about the lyrics of the music they listen to is invariable. In fact, their answer is almost always the same: “Mom!" This response is usually followed by some explanation about how what the singers are actually saying in the song doesn't really matter. This is the Nietszchian response, and it is made primarily by children.

The Miltonic response is made primarily by adults. It is the belief that the music doesn't really matter, only the lyrics. This is a common mistake made in discussions over music in church, where it is often argued that we can take the same musical patterns that have been in the service of secular objectives, and, by putting new words to these tunes, we automatically transform them into worship songs.

Of these two mistakes, the second is easily the worse. At least the Romantic Mistake acknowledges the truth that it is not the rationalistic but the purely musical aspect of music that is it's most significant aspect. The Rationalist Mistake misses the point altogether.

Music is indeed important, but one wonders if those of us who seem so obsessed with it—young or old—understand exactly how important it really is. We play with music as with a toy, when in fact we are really playing with fire. And fire, as everyone knows, is the Devil's only friend.

Funny metaphors used in high school essays

Just in case you need some writing inspiration. Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.

My favorites:

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Field Trip!

It's no accident that these four things can all happen the same week. Anyone up for a little Midwest road-tripping?

Not that this sounds familiar or anything...

Because I can

and it makes me smile.

(There is another, more notorious than this Lenten version. I'll have to look around for a photo. ;-)