Mean what you say.
Kendra wrote about it very eloquently here and that's what got me thinking about the whole topic. More and more frequently (now that I'm the older woman category and have produced a proven product*), some nice young mother will ask me for parenting advice. It's a ridiculously complex topic and there is rarely a quick answer, but I'm convinced that so many problems can be avoided by simply meaning what you say and following through on it.
It establishes parental authority and builds trust. It clearly defines expectations and provides the boundaries kids are looking for. Self discipline on a parent's part helps build the same virtue in children and that leads to behavior that is worthy of my trust which allows me to comfortably offer more freedoms - a very rewarding outcome for children of all ages. Like Kendra, I agree that this is in no way a statement on obstinance or a means to shut down discussion - in fact, I think it produces the opposite effect of real conversation with people mature enough to talk to - it's simply a way to move through family life without constant negotiations, whining, and desperate stopgap rewards for undesirable behavior.
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*Thanks for making me look good, guys!
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